Sweeter Than Heaven, Hotter Than Hell
by It'sGonnaBeTotallyAwesome
Summary: A good seven years after the war, Draco Malfoy had resorted to what his father would have a hernia over – living as a Muggle. And he was happier than he'd ever been - but then Hermione Granger just had to come along and screw everything up.
1. Disguise and Befriend

_A/N: Just something that came into my head, and so I wrote it down. I might turn this into a full-length story, but it'll go slow because of my others FF's. It might only be a couple chapters, I dunno. We'll see. Tell me what you think!_

**Sweeter Than Heaven, Hotter Than Hell**

** Ch. 1 – Disguise-and-Befriend**

A good seven years after the war, Draco Malfoy had resorted to what his father would have a hernia over – living as a Muggle . . . Okay, so maybe he'd use a little _Wingardium Leviosa _when he didn't want to get the remote, but _for the most part_, he'd taken to retiring of sorts from the pressures of the postwar Wizarding World.

He did find that in many ways, the Muggle life was much simpler. He never really realized how _difficult_ some of the little things wizards did with magic were – like actually making food. And taking out the trash. And cleaning your living space. And actually getting things yourself.

It was tough.

Especially in the beginning, Draco had no idea what he was thinking. He almost gave up – but then his neighbor, Ms. Mulberry, came over for a visit, and he decided he couldn't leave. Ms. Mulberry was eighty-five years old, and refused to go into a retirement home. All of her family was dead, which Draco could semi-relate to, but she still had the kindest heart Draco had ever come across. She'd lost her husband in World War II, and prayed to him every night. She dressed like she was going out every day, but she never did; she came over to Draco's for tea often though, and vice versa. No matter how unpractical and horrific he'd thought the Muggle world was in the beginning, he couldn't bring himself to leave Ms. Mulberry, being her only confidant, even if he couldn't admit it.

So, he'd acquired a job at the local diner – called the Diner; they were very original – and planned on putting the war, Hogwarts, and Harry bloody Potter behind him. And that's precisely what happened. He never saw his old, prissy friends again. He never went back to that God forsaken Manor, since his mother had died of a heart attack shortly after Draco's father was finally thrown in Azkaban. The absence of it all made him a better person, or at least that's what he liked to think. He'd even grown out of his childish grudge on Potter and his friends, and whether it was because he never saw them anymore or he really had grown up, he wasn't sure.

Either way, it didn't matter much now. He would never see any of those people again anyway. Though he still lived in London, he hadn't seen nearly any wizards, and if he did it was no one he knew. And considering almost everyone in the Wizarding World knew him as Harry Potter school rival – part of the reason he left – he made sure that when they came around, they didn't catch sight of him. He considered using Polyjuice Potion, but decided against it because of the taste, Ms. Mulberry knowing his identity, and, well, the taste.

His days now consisted on cleaning tables, chatting up a couple girls at the diner, lots of laundry, and tea. Quite a change from the tumultuous, angst-filled days of his past, but he preferred it to be honest.

"Will? What the hell are you doing?"

Of course, Draco changed his name so the Daily Prophet story-whores wouldn't come looking for him. He supposed he could do a better job at covering his tracks than just changing his name, but he decided that if they came around, he'd just threaten to hex them into oblivion. Much simpler that way.

Blake laughed and she smacked him upside the head with her towel. Draco realized he'd absentmindedly stopped wiping down the table and started staring off into space.

Draco laughed, too, and shook his head, continuing what he was doing. "Just had a flashback, that's all."

"Ah," she said, smirking, and leaned against the bar. "About your mysterious past?"

He rolled his eyes and wiped his hands off. "It's not mysterious, Blake, I told you – I just had a rough time growing up, that's all."

"And I think there's a lot more to it than that." She said as Draco came up beside her and put his towel on the bar.

"Oh, stop pestering him, woman," John, the bartender and Draco's best mate, laughed, cleaning out a cup. "He's already had a bad day, the poor bloke got rejected by the pretty dame at the bar earlier."

"Did you now?" Blake laughed, launching herself over the bar to the other side. She walked over to John and slid her arms around his waist – they'd been dating for two years now.

Draco rolled his eyes. "I was a little off today."

"Yeah, no kidding. Usually your charms work on any woman," John said, shaking his head in shame. "She must be one of those independent, hard-working feminists. You know how they can be."

Blake let her boyfriend go and raised her eyebrows. "I would consider myself an independent, hard-working feminist."

Draco chuckled and took out his pack of cigarettes – one of his acquired Muggle habits – as he shook his head. _Here we go again_.

"Well, I didn't mean – I meant one of those snobby ones, babe –"

"I thought she was quite _nice_ actually, I liked her – not every girl has to fall under Will's charms, you know –"

"I _know_ that, Blake, it was a _joke_, I'm _sorry._"

"Stop using that tone."

"What tone?"

"_That_ tone."

"I'm not using a damn tone, Blake."

"You just did!"

Draco shook his head and walked toward the door, grabbing his coat on the way out. "And this is why I stay single!" he said over his shoulder, smirking around his cigarette.

"Oh, shut it, Will! And take the cancer stick out!" Blake yelled after him, but he just chuckled, pushing through the door into the freezing London night.

He slid his coat on and pulled out his lighter, putting it to his cigarette absentmindedly. His mind drifted to his usual Muggle-like thoughts. When was he supposed to take the trash out again? Did he feed Max (his dog, one of the many things he'd acquired since his new life) before work? Did he have good milk?

He took the cigarette out and exhaled the smoke in a sigh, and turned to walk toward his apartment down the street. And that's when he saw the woman who'd rejected him at the bar leaning against the wall of the Diner. She had a slim dark gray suit on that was just tight enough to make out her curves but not too revealing, which what had caught Draco's attention in the first place. She had straight dark hair and dark eyes. She also had black-rimmed winged glasses, but they made her look more sexy-smart than smart-smart. Which was perfectly fine with him.

He slowed to a stop, a grin slowly spreading on his face. "Couldn't get enough of me, huh?"

She raised an eyebrow. "It would seem so. I just wanted to see how you were really like, when you're not flirting with every other girl."

Draco put the cigarette back in his mouth, appraising her with a chuckle. "What's your name?"

"Nora." She answered, looking at him in an odd way. She seemed oddly familiar, not _her_ exactly, but something _about_ her, but he pushed the thought away hastily. He didn't want to think of his past tonight.

"William," he replied with an easy grin, holding his hand out. "But call me Will."

She nodded slowly and held out her hand. She did things slowly and cautiously, like she was wary of him. Not in a 'you-seem-like-a-creep' way, but a 'I-know-more-about-you-than-you-think' way, which Draco was _not_ okay with. She wasn't a . . .?

"Nora, I haven't met you before, have I? Not before today, I mean?" he said, shaking his head. She looked really familiar now, like she was a little blurry.

"No, I don't believe so." She said, and suddenly she came back into focus and he blinked rapidly.

_Yeah, she's still solid. That was weird._

He cleared his throat. "Well, would you like to go for a drink then?" he asked, putting on a charming smile.

She smiled back coyly. "I'd love to, Will, but I'm afraid I have other things I need to take care of tonight. I'll come by the bar sometime, though, alright?"

He kept his face indifferent as he nodded, but felt uneasy. Why'd she even come back, then, if she wasn't interested in going out with him? She then walked down the street, leaving him behind to question what the hell just happened.

Meanwhile, Hermione Granger walked off, leaving Draco Malfoy behind to question what the hell just happened. She cursed herself mentally for getting to relaxed and letting her illusion charm slip. When she was out of sight, she slipped into an alleyway and pulled out her wand, conjuring her Patronus to send a message to Harry: "_We've become acquainted. Hasn't even changed his bloody identity, but he's changed his name to William. Everything's going smoothly. But Harry, he doesn't seem like he's been doing anything evil and all that rubbish. He looks normal. I even saw him smoking a cigarette, for Merlin's sake. It's like he's . . . become a Muggle._"

And she didn't know what to say after that, so she let the Patronus go with a sigh. She almost thought Draco acted . . . charming. It was very odd. And what was with the cigarettes?

She shook her head and left the alleyway. When she'd taken the mission to go undercover and track down Draco Malfoy, she couldn't believe it. Draco Malfoy had disappeared shortly after the war, and hadn't been heard of in seven years. However, that was the reason, apparently, why they needed to check in on him. Not just 'check in', like pop in and ask 'Hey, doin' anything evil lately? No? Okay, brilliant', but 'check in' like complete disguise-and-befriend thing. He had been a big contender in Dumbledore's death and was the son of the man who'd once been Voldemort's right hand man. Technically, he was next in line to start up the Death Eater regime once again.

Therefore, it was Hermione's job to befriend Draco and dig around in his personal life. Though, now after meeting him, it was like he was a different person. However, this was her job, and Draco could very well still be doing evil things and still . . . smoke Muggle cigarettes and work at a Muggle diner and wear Muggle clothes and hit on Muggle women. Because that made sense.

Hermione made an annoyed noise under her breath as she walked up to her ritzy Muggle hotel. She smiled at the doorman, who'd introduced himself as Mark and was blatantly obvious in his flirtation. Merlin, she didn't even do much with her body, just changed her hair, darkened her eyes and tanned her skin. She should be semi-flattered but she wasn't. Men were sex-driven idiots.

Her plan for the rest of her mission was to scope out his living space and his work space, make sure his friends were not insane and/or evil, and trail him for a couple days.

Then, hopefully, she'd be back home and never have to see him again.


	2. Feels Like We're Pulling Teeth

_A/N: Thanks for all the lovely reviews! They inspired me to write more before my other FF's! So, thanks guys, keep it up – they make my day! _

**Ch. 2 – Feels Like We're Pulling Teeth**

The next morning, like almost every other morning, Draco was woken by Max jumping on his bed, laying down beside him and nudging his face with his long snout. He opened his eyes and was met by Max's too-close face. Max was a Scotch Collie and turned five years old this past October. Draco supplied the party, of course. Blake and John brought their dog, Jack and they got him a dog food cake, which, yes, did smell very disgusting, but Max and Jack loved it. Draco had a picture of them with their party hats on slapped onto his wall. They probably made too big of a deal out of it, now that he thought about it, but he Max was like his brother now. Draco got him when he couldn't stand the loneliness in his apartment anymore.

"Hey, Max," Draco sighed, rolling onto his back. Max pawed his arm impatiently and Draco looked at him exasperatedly. "If they'd told me how humanly you act, I would've gotten a bloody Chihuahua."

Of course, that wasn't true. Draco probably would've chucked that thing out the window within the first ten minutes. But Max didn't care – he pawed him again.

"Alright, alright, I'm getting up." He groaned, sitting on the edge of his bed.

He rubbed his eyes and thought of the woman he'd met the day before. He couldn't shake her from his mind and it was freaking him out just a little. He really didn't want to deal with some sketchy journalist from the Daily Prophet, but, of course, he'd just pull the 'leave-or-I'll-hex-you-into-oblivion' card if necessary. He would have to see her again, though, to make sure.

Why couldn't they just leave him alone?

He grimaced and looked at Max, who was lying on his back on the bed. "Dogs are better than any pet they have in the Wizarding World." He mumbled grouchily.

Then, he did his daily routine of taking a shower, getting dressed, then eating breakfast. He sighed when he found that they were already out of dog food. He scratched Max's ears and murmured "You're a monster, you know that? You're making me go broke with how much you eat." Max just stared at him and Draco rolled his eyes. Then, he grabbed his keys and jogged out the door.

XXX

Hermione sighed and stood in the alleyway next to Malfoy's apartment building, waiting for him to come out so she could search through his things. She spotted him in his window and snorted to herself – this was going to be too easy. She didn't bother with the disguise for right now, but it meant she had to be extra careful.

Finally, he emerged carrying his laundry, and she raised an eyebrow as he passed her unknowingly. She shook her head to herself and then walked up to the building. She checked around her for any witnesses and then unlocked the door with her wand. She slipped through the door and noted she saw him on the left side of the building and headed toward there. She walked down the slim hallway and stopped at the one that was in the general area of where she saw him. She looked around and saw an obvious security camera pointed at her. She pulled out her wand and blasted the thing. She'd be out of town in a couple days anyway. This whole job irritated her and she was not in the mood to deal with Muggle authorities.

She unlocked his door and stepped inside, quietly closing it behind her. She jumped out of her skin when suddenly, a dog started barking and some sort of Collie appeared, growling at her. She sighed, but couldn't bring herself to Stun him, so she just cast a cheering charm on him. He immediately stopped growling and turned friendly, his tongue lolling out of his mouth. Hermione pursed her lips and looked around.

Where to start?, she mused. Then, her eyes stopped on the bedroom. Right. Let's get it over with.

XXX

Halfway to the store, Draco realized he'd forgotten his bloody wallet back at the apartment.

"Bollocks." He grumbled, shaking his head sharply, before turning and jogging back where he came.

When he entered the building, his cell phone rang – a device that had Draco a while to fully figure out – and he sighed, looking at the Caller ID. It was John.

"Hey, what's goin' on?" John greeted him.

"Getting food for Max. Actually, I'm doubling back to get my wallet."

John laughed and he glared at nothing in particular, but then he said, "You're a smart bloke, Will, really. But, er, listen, I need you to come in today, if you can. Blake's sick and she can't work."

"By sick, do you mean she'd PMSing?" Draco asked, smirking as he fiddled with his keys outside his apartment door.

"I don't know, mate, and I don't really want to know, to be honest – can you come in or what?"

Something caught Draco's eye beside him and he looked over, doing a double take when he saw the security camera was busted on the floor. His mouth dropped open and he gazed around.

"What the . . . ?" he murmured.

"Hello? Will? William. What the hell, man?"

Draco shook his head and said distractedly, "Yeah, yeah, I'll come in, I've gotta go now."

"Noon, Will!" was the last thing he heard before he shut his phone. He was still looking at the busted camera and then looked at his door. He held his breath and reached for the door knob.

It was open, just like he'd feared.

He growled under his breath and opened it. His wand was shoved under his nightstand, and he cursed himself. He opened and closed the door as quietly as he could and looked at Max, who was just standing there with a goofy dog-grin on his face.

"The bitch used a cheering charm on my dog." He muttered incredulously. He knew it was her, it had to be. She shows up and suddenly everything gets all weird.

He looked around and saw his bedroom door was open more so than he left it. He headed toward it.

Hermione listened intently and then dread filled her as she definitely heard footsteps coming toward the bedroom. She sighed through her teeth. At least he didn't have his wand. She'd just found it shoved under his bloody nightstand for God's sake. This mission should just be aborted. He obviously was not evil and he obviously did not want to be bothered.

She grabbed his wand and then cast a quick – and weak – invisibility charm on herself, right before he entered. She watched as he looked around sharply and then looked for his wand under the nightstand. He laughed shortly and nodded, muttering, "Right."

He stood and looked around again, squinting. "Alright, you can come out now. I don't have anything to defend myself. Come on, I know who you are."

Of course he did. Draco Malfoy was smart, and she'd been extremely slopped with this job. She made an annoyed noise and let the charm fall. He looked at her and his mouth dropped. Of course, he should be a little surprised that it was Hermione Granger and not 'Nora' who had broken into his home.

"Granger?" he finally exclaimed, his face more than a little amusing.

She smirked and crossed her arms over her chest. "Long time no see, Malfoy. Nice little life you have here. Quite a change."

He glared at her. "Don't mock me, Granger. What are you doing here?"

"Some significant people back at the Ministry think we should check in on you. You've been quite quiet for the heir to the Death Eaters."

He sighed. "Look, I left all that behind me when I left. The last thing I want is for any of that rubbish to come back."

Hermione acknowledged with a slight raise of the eyebrows that he couldn't accept his past, and that's why he was pushing it away. He couldn't deal with it. But no matter – it was none of her business.

"Well sorry to break it to you, Malfoy, but this is my job. I can't leave until I've scoped you out for a couple more days." She said, leaning against the wall.

He furrowed his brow and regarded her with an odd expression. "You're different." He pointed out.

"Yes, I've grown up a bit. Now, may I?" she asked, indicating his room.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fine. Fine, just take the bloody cheering charm off my dog."


	3. Freaking Me Out

**I Pledge Myself Allegiance to a Better Night's Sleep At Home **

Hermione completed her mission with Draco's consent within two days, though she didn't tell Harry Draco allowed it. That would only cause trouble, and she just wanted to get out of the little blonde boys hair. The whole 'I'm-not-as-bad-as-I-used-to-be' act was really just freaking her out. And the fact that he was living as a Muggle? Unbelievable.

She sighed and continued to pack her things. She didn't have to worry about it now. She quickly sent a message to Harry that the mission went well and Draco Malfoy was in the clear. She also told him she'd be home in an hour, because Merlin knows how much the boy worries.

When she was finished packing her things, Harry's stag came back with his message, and his voice said, _"That's great, Hermione, and fine, you get a big 'I told you so', as always. Now, erm, you might want to know that Sam showed up today, 'Mione. He just wanted to know where you were, but I told him to piss off, very unlike me, so . . . there you go. You've should've seen Ron. But you're over him, right? Right. So, er, see you when you get back. Ginny wants to have dinner tonight."_

Hermione sighed and put her face in her hands. Sam showed up? She couldn't believe he had the nerve . . .

"Ugh," she groaned and closed her suitcase, letting the matter go to the back of her mind. She sighed and brushed hair out of her face, putting her hands on her hips. "I'll go check on Malfoy one more time."

She left her suitcase and Apparated to Malfoy's apartment, where she saw Malfoy wasn't there, but two cloaked figures were in his bedroom. And she learned long ago that black cloaked figures were usually never good news. She backed up against the wall and listened intently to the conversation on the inside.

"The boy would never agree. Look at this pathetic life he seems to enjoy. He won't risk losing it. He couldn't cope with the Wizarding World the first time, and he can't do it again, Kale."

"He _will_ agree to help us, Larkin. Because just like his father he has an evil streak within him, and if we just push the right buttons, it will come out. I know it will. Now put his things away. We have to get back before the meeting starts."

Hermione cursed silently. This meant a good number of extremely bad things. She definitely had to stay with Draco, just in case he decided to go with these most obviously evil people, whoever they may be. They were also a very bad thing, along with the fact that Hermione had no idea who they were. It also meant that she had to tell Harry, which would definitely not be good for his health. And it also meant she'd have to cancel dinner with him and Ginny, which surely was going to make Ginny an extremely scary shade of furious red. She probably already burnt five things in the oven, trying to cook the Muggle way.

Then, the front door opened, and Malfoy walked in, whistling – _whistling_! – quietly to himself, swinging his keys around his finger. Hermione waved her arms frantically and he looked up. He furrowed his brow and she put a finger to her lips, her face probably an alarming sight. He put his arms up slowly and gave her an exasperated look, which clearly meant, '_okay, I get it, Merlin_'.

"Let's get out of here. We'll come back tomorrow to talk to the boy."

And then she heard the _pop_s of them Apparating and she let out a huge breath she'd been holding and Malfoy immediately started talking, closing the door.

"What the hell was that?" he exclaimed, throwing his keys on the counter.

She ran her hands through her hair and started pacing. "This is way too much – dear _Merlin_, this is bad. We don't know who those guys were, or who they're working for, or what they want with _you_! I'm going to have to stay here with you for an unknown amount of time now. This is extremely serious. You're not going to join them are you?"

"What? What are you _talking_ about?" he asked, looking at her like she was crazy.

"Those two men in there, who were obviously evil and obviously up to something that is certainly _evil_, want _you_ to join their side! Which is evil!"

"Alright, just calm down, I'll say no –"

"Say no? I'm not sure you have much of a choice here, Malfoy, they seemed like the kind of guys who'll pull an 'it's a yes or we kill you' sort of thing –"

"Okay. Okay. Just calm down you're seriously freaking me out!" he exclaimed hastily, and they both took a slow deep breath. "You know, you are _so different_? What happened to being the intelligent, calm and collected one?"

Hermione took more offense to the comment than she should have. Obviously, it was because of her recent nasty break-up with Sam, but it certainly wasn't likely that she was about to admit it, and to _Malfoy_ of all people.

"I'm still intelligent, you prick," she snapped, "I just – I've gone through a lot since Hogwarts, so I'm _sorry_ if it bugs you. But what we need to focus on is you. And what we need to do with you."

"What, are you going to lock me up?" he scoffed, "I'm not seventeen anymore, Granger, I can take care of myself."

"This is out of your control, Malfoy," she said coldly, "Maybe you've been bumming around as a Muggle so long you've forgotten, but we're the good guys, alright? And we're trying to protect you. So let us."

"Bumming around as a Muggle?" he repeated with a loud scoff. It was just like him to miss the whole point of what she was trying to say.

"Listen, Malfoy," she said, lowering her voice. "I'm going to talk to Harry, and we're going to figure out what to do. You stay here until I come out of that fireplace, understand?"

"Granger, I'm not going to be _commanded_ –"

"Just do it!" she exclaimed, "We're trying to _help_."

He sighed and shook his head to himself. "Fine."

**XXX**

"Hermione, you need to stay there with him. See what happens tomorrow. If it's something worth the attention, I'll send backup. Send me a Patronus if need be."

Hermione sighed and nodded. "I really hate this job, Harry. Could you not have sent someone else?"

Harry managed a weak smile. She worried for her friend a lot. The war had worn him down; though, he still maintained his position at the Head of Magical law Enforcement, and he did it better than anyone else had before him.

"I knew you were best for the job, Hermione," he said simply, "Try _not_ to kill him, that'd make this whole mission useless."

She rolled her eyes. "Very funny," she scoffed, and then gave him a look. "You've been getting some rest, yeah?"

He shrugged, smiling at her look. "Some. Be safe, Hermione, don't worry about me. Worry about our blonde-haired ex-nemesis."

"Who says he's out _ex _-nemesis?" she muttered jokingly, and he grinned.

"Get out of here." He laughed. Then, she felt something hit her backside, and she gasped, furrowing her brow.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked.

"Nothing, nothing. I'll send word tomorrow."

**XXX**

As Granger so kindly went over to his fireplace with grudging stomps, he rolled his eyes and got himself a sandwich. He was acting calm for Granger, who seemed like she was going to have a heart attack, but he was really quite wary of this entire situation. What the hell would anyone evil in the Wizarding World want with him? He'd been gone for far too long to have anything of value for them. Unless they needed something from the Manor, where anything that they could possibly want lay – but they could just Apparate into the Manor, really, and get what they needed. Unless it was in one of those hidden offices his father had. . .

He sighed and shook his head. He supposed he'd just have to wait until tomorrow, when they would surely attempt to threaten and frighten him. Though – if it _was_ something in one of his father's hidden rooms, what they didn't know was Draco didn't have a clue where they were or how to open them.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and rid such thoughts from his mind. This was all part of a past he never wanted to resurface, and here it was, rushing back quite too fast for his sanity.

There was a knock on his door, and he snapped his head up. He looked over and Granger was still busy in the fireplace (though he did get a particularly nice view of her backside, mind you), and he warily went towards the door, looking through the peephole. When he saw Ms. Mulberry, he cursed under his breath, and scampered over to Granger, kicking her in the bum to get her out of there.

She turned with dangerously wide eyes. "What in the hell is –"

"One of my Muggle friends are here." He hissed.

"Oh – should I – ?"

"Just – stay there, it's fine. I'll just tell her you're a friend." He said, backing up towards the door.

There was another knock as Granger said hastily, "Whoa, _she_? Is this a _romantic_ friend?"

Draco rolled his eyes and ignored her, opening the door. Ms. Mulberry stood there in her four foot nine glory, wearing her knee-length floral dress with her scarf covering her white hair as usual. She held a fruit basket in her petite hands and Draco chuckled to himself.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Mulberry." He said, allowing her in, and then turned to Hermione, who now had her disguise on, and mouthed sarcastically, "Yes. Romantic friend."

"Hello, William." She said pleasantly, wobbling inside.

"Hi, Mr. Mulberry. I have another friend here, too – this is Nora."

Ms. Mulberry smiled knowingly at him before she went to shake Hermione's hand. "Just a friend, then?" she chuckled.

"Yes, Ms. Mulberry, we're just friends." Draco said, smiling with a roll of his eyes.

"Nice to meet you." Hermione said, smiling.

"Now, what are you doing here, William? Look at this place! It's a bloody mess! And eat that sandwich on the counter, boy, you're already skinny enough. Do you want anything, dear? I'm sure William can make you something. Come now, William, don't just stand there."

Draco shared a smile with Hermione and he shrugged. The stressful things in life would have to wait until Ms. Mulberry was gone, as usual.


End file.
